In the month when we celebrate Mother’s Day and mark Child Protection Month, these three lessons from moms are worth remembering when planning for the future.
By Lesley Erasmus, Executive Manager of Distribution
Mothers are amazing. They have endless capacity for love and support – not to mention forgiveness! – for their children. They seem to have magic powers when it comes to stretching money. They show us how to be resilient. They provide stability. They weave wisdom into everyday life.
We specialise in wills and estates, so we often see how the selfless provision that mothers make, can ensure that a child is not only looked after if something happens to a parent, but that they are able to thrive.
1. Difficult conversations are worth having
Moms know how necessary the uncomfortable conversations can be and they expertly frame these chats with love and practicality. Talking about the risks of social media, or discussing bullying or cyberbullying can be tricky, but staying silent doesn’t help. Talking openly and honestly is the best way. The same applies to who will look after a child if something happens to a parent. You can reassure them that they’ll have a home, their schooling or studies will be paid for, and their daily needs provided for. When children are older, they have capacity to take onboard parents’ last wishes, how assets should be distributed, etc. These discussions create opportunities for them to ask questions and can help to put young minds at ease. When children see parents tackling tricky topics head on, they become more surefooted and resilient in handling these situations. By providing clarity and guidance, an emotionally difficult time will be a little easier for them to navigate. Some see it as taboo to discuss death, but breaking the silence can build trust and ease uncertainty. Moms are often best placed to handle such subjects with care.
2. Let everyone grow at their own pace
Mothers appreciate that no two children develop identically, not even twins. That’s why they often encourage kids not to compare themselves to others – instead, to grow at their own pace and celebrate personal milestones, whether it’s mastering multiplication in maths class or hitting a cracking cover-drive on the cricket pitch. Teaching a child that steady effort builds lasting security, and that progress, however small, is still progress, is a powerful life lesson. The same applies to making provision for the future by covering the significant costs of deceased estate administration in the unfortunate event that a parent passes away. Known as ‘indemnifying’ (protecting) your estate against the costs of dying, a specialised type of insurance cover for a comparatively small premium per month can spare your loved ones from the significant costs of your deceased estate administration. For example, transferring a property from a deceased person’s name to their nominated heir or beneficiary, often runs into tens of thousands of rands, significantly reducing the inheritance that loved ones receive. This could have life-changing implications for a child – either by setting them up for life, or leaving them with much less.
3. Always be prepared for the unexpected
Mothers instinctively prepare for the unforeseen – spare nappies, emergency snacks, backup school transport. They know that, just like lunchboxes and extra murals, family finances require planning… especially at times like these when living costs are rising faster than salaries. Mothers also have the inner strength to face the hard truth that the unthinkable can happen in an instant. So, they realise that estate planning and drafting a will are not morbid tasks, but the ultimate acts of love toward their children. This is especially true if they’re still minors because you can name a preferred guardian and set up testamentary trusts to make sure your children are properly provided for if something happens to one or both parents. Dying without a will if you’re a parent can have serious consequences for your child’s future, not least because they could be raised by someone who does not share your values or beliefs and will not raise them in line with your wishes. And even if you have drafted your will, it’s a good idea to update it at least once a year or after big life events (having or adopting a child, getting married or divorced, buying property, retiring, etc.) so that it always reflects your current circumstances and wishes.
We love, honour and appreciate our moms for guiding us toward stability, security, and growth, one thoughtful choice at a time.